Saturday, 2 June 2012

50 Shades and the Universe...

Oh Blog how I have missed you! I've missed your enlightenment, your freedom and your release that it gives me! But I have been otherwise occupied ;)

Over the last couple of weeks I have succumbed to the world of Mr. Grey. For those of you living under a rock and have no idea who or what I am talking about, it's a little story aptly name "50 Shades of Grey". Well a trilogy of a story I was hooked, lined and sunk into. I had been hearing about these books for a month or so and because if anyone is like me once they are into a book, there's nothing than can stray you away until it is finished. I was like that with Twilight Saga (read all 4 in 7 days), and I don't think I talked to any of my family for that entire week. My husband thought I was possessed by something unnatural because I was still reading at  4am!

Well enter...50 Shades of Grey and the very enigmatic Mr. Christian Grey. The book is narrated by a Miss Anastasia Steele, but it is Mr. Grey that captures your heart.....and quite possibly your slumbering libido! I'm not about go on and on and give a full book review (because it would spoil it for those who have not read it), but this book had me holding my breath at certain episodes! It was VERY descriptive and very HOT! You truly would have to be a nun if this book didn' things to you on some level or another. I'm not in any way ashamed in commenting about a certain prowess it gives you as a woman while reading it or how it may or may not give women "wings" to explore their own sexuality and play making with their significant others or would-be lovers. I had even heard at one point in an office that men were buying the series for their wives in an attempt to "spice up" their sex lives.  So essentially, yes the book is lovingly geared for the 25-55 year old women who may or may not need a little encouragement to explore themselves and their partners.

So here is what I really got out of the series. First off, the series is ultimately at its core, a LOVE story. True there are very descriptive and gratuitous sex scenes and kind of let's you into the BDSM world, but not so much that you are...overstimulated. It's really about a woman who meets a closed off, don't touch me, soul scorched man and brings unconditional love to his life. Little by little she brings forth a life he never thought he was worthy of. There are truly parts in the story where you as the reader REALLY want to be Ana and curl up into his lap and stroke his hair and chase his nightmares away. And then there are other parts where you possible want to go into the "Red Room of Pain". The series is such an emotional rollercoaster, one minute you're laughing because he is devilishly charismatic and the next minute your holding your breath because of the intensity of his wanting and needing of her flesh. It's like he needs her like he needs air!

And why shouldn't we all feel like that in a relationship? Why do we as couples make it so complicated? Love should be that holding your breath, needing like air, butterflies in your tummy kind of feeling all the time shouldn't it? That's what brought you together in the first place isn't it? The fireworks and sparks! I realize bringing children into the world is a huge responsibility and should never be taken lightly. After all your are raising your own legacy to carrying on our world in the hopes that they take care of it better than we did. But being completely consumed by your children, careers and finances will only leave you as strangers when they've all left the nest. After the children, careers well established and finances settle down most couples have no idea why they are still together or don't know each other at all because they didn't take the time to reconnect every once in awhile during all the hustle and bustle. I think that's why they really call it "empty nest syndrome". It's not the fact that the children have flown, it's because you're left with only one person to devote all your time to and it's scares the crap out of you!  You don't proper take the time to watch one another grow and grow with each other. You're left standing there saying "Well what do we do now"? Where have all the butterflies gone? No flint to make the spark.

I think that's a huge margin why couples get divorced. Yes, agreed there are always other circumstances, such as infidelity or abuse. But I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that couples don't grow together as  a partnership, they grow apart.

So by all means have a look at these books, smut or's very enlightening.... And if you're thinking that love can never be like a story...why can't it be?? Somebody wrote it and there are thousands of books that write about love,  fantasy, erotic or if someone is writing about's completely tangible and even quite attainable...if you're willing to put in the work....

Yes always the hopeless romantic at heart...... Happy exploring... ;)

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

The Great Unknown... A Work in Progress

There comes a time in every mother's life where we get tired, frustrated and maybe a little complacent. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't possibly be the only mother out there that has ever felt this way. Am I right ladies?

Lately, I've been trying to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of my life,existence, whatever you want to call it, hence the reason for starting a blog. So I guess this would be kind of like my digital journal. Not necessarily ALL of my inner thoughts, but ones that I can share and maybe even with a comment or two from outsiders and get some clarity.

I'm turning 37 this year (ugh) and I keep thinking to myself..."Wow..I'm going to be 40 in 3 years!"  I look around at all of my peers and they all have oodles of education, careers and clubs they belong to and I look at me and other than a short career as a hairstylist then child rearing and a couple of retail management positions...I got nothing. Now I know it takes guts, patience and stamina to stay at home with your kids for the first 5/6 years of their life and that they have the best nurturing experience possible, I totally get that and I loved it! But you also rarely have time for yourself, half the time look like a mess and maybe even lose a little bit of yourself at the same time. Now that I find myself for the first time in 10 years with all of my children at school full-time,I'm  drawing a blank at what I've become and what skills I can offer really with mediocre job experiences during that time frame. I am totally at a crossroads at this time in my life. My body is not what it use to be after having children, my education is not what it should be and quite frankly I just don't know what direction I want to go in. There is no point in going back into hairdressing because it would take me another 5 years to build up a clientele and I just don't have the patience to sit and wait for people to show up wanting a haircut! I've taken those "Career Finder" surveys to see what traits I have and of course the first three at the top of the list are actor, artist and teacher. There are a host of others based on what your answers are, but too long to list.

Soooo Actor...just sec....HAHAHA ironic! At one time in my life yes that is all I ever wanted to do! I always imagined myself in NYC singing on Broadway in some fabulous musical. Now however, it just isn't in the cards, I've passed that window of opportunity, whether it be age or body image. Not to mention my domestic life is what it is. But it is very ironic that the "Career Finder" would put that at the top of the list.

Artist..well obviously goes almost part and parcel with the actor/singer statement. Besides I'm really not that artistic in any way shape or form. I can draw stick people and Martha Stewart I am not.

Teacher...ok I can sort of see this one because I do love kids and find joy in sharing the beautiful things in life with them. I could see myself teaching Kindergarten a lot. However that being said, the odds of finding a teaching job these days, that is after I finish upwards of 5 years of university are slim to none. There are enough teachers on part time contracts as it is and paying back a student loan until I am 90 just doesn't seem feasible and downright silly.

So here I am again pondering what the hell to do with myself for the next 20+ years. In the pit of my stomach, there is this feeling that I am destined for something truly great and fitting for just ME. I do believe everything happens for a reason, but is this suppose to be my existence? Being a wife, mother and grabbing a minimum wage job can't possibly be it for me. For all those that don't know being a Leo and doing seemingly mundane activities is not in our genetic makeup let me just clear that up! We like a challenge, to be pursued, almost always be the center of attention, yet be very generous, a good listener, excellent lover and great friend.Unfortunately I can't make a career out of any of that....well legally anyways. So it leaves me in a career-less abyss. Still pondering the life long question "What do I want to be When I Grow Up"?

I have spent the latter part of 10 years serving others, that I have no idea who I am or what my needs are. What I do know about myself is that I am resourceful, kind, a good person, sometimes overly gregarious, loud, occasionally witty, helpful, a good mother, a supportive wife and a pretty darn good friend. I ask for very little help even when I REALLY should sometimes, but it's that Leo pride that gets in my way all the time. I think it's just years of doing everything for everyONE I feel I can carry it on my shoulders. I can say with utter certainty my shoulders as of late are, but that's self-sabbotage! Yes there are times when I contemplate throwing in the towel and hiding away, but then I pick myself up, look at my girls and remember I do have a job to do at home first and foremost.

Maybe if I delegate things, chores whatever you wanna call it to "others" in my household and not be afraid of the consequences, maybe...just maybe...I can take a step back and do some soul searching....dig deep into myself and figure out what brings me joy and fulfillment and get out of this rut I find myself in.

I've always heard that adrenalin always gives you clarity....I wonder if I "manned" up and really started taking care of my body the way I should (egads! a whole hour to myself) by joining a gym, doing yoga or even power walking by myself (a dog or two in tow) would give me the push I need? Maybe I'll try JUST that!

What do you think??
 (Totally metaphorically speaking, unless you want to comment then feel free!)

Signed a "Work in Progress"

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Grand Gathering....and a Challenge!

So a grand gathering has happened. It was not attended by many but the caliber of woman that were in attendance was GRAND, nurturing, witty, caring and well just amazing!! Our new friend Liz @LizMcLennan has challenge us women to a Hostel Bookers 7 Super Shots.  

So after much procrastinating and child drama, I've finally decided to give it a go. So please bare with me as I am very new at the "blog" thing  (second post ever) and not quite sure it'll come across right!
I am taking part in HostelBookers 7 Super Shots

The challenge:
1. Choose 7 of your own photos, one for each of the following categories:

  • A photo that…takes my breath away
  • A photo that…makes me laugh or smile
  • A photo that…makes me dream
  • A photo that…makes me think
  • A photo that…makes my mouth water
  • A photo that…tells a story
  • A photo that…I am most proud of (aka my worthy of National Geographic shot)
2. Write a short description for each image.
3. Write somewhere in your blog post: ‘I am taking part in HostelBookers 7 Super Shots.
4. Tell us you have participated and tweet the hashtag #7SuperShots
5. Nominate 5 other bloggers by including a link to their blog in your post.
We will be retweeting and sharing the best posts from participating bloggers

A photo that takes my breath away....

These are my girls...they are my hopes, my future <3

A photo that makes me smile or laugh...

Autumn makes me giggle all the time!! She truly believes and from a VERY young age she WILL be famous one day....and drive a convertible! I have no doubt in my mind she will succeed!

A Photo that makes me dream.... Just because there are endless possibilities
                                                                                 in this world waiting for me!

A photo that makes me think.....

I think..."Where has the time gone?" I worry all the time about how I am raising young women and try and teach them to be strong and independent. How not to let anyone push them around and to just be happy with themselves and not worry about what other people think about them. And to respect one another. My beautiful Hayley is so much more than I ever could hope for <3 as is all my girls....

A photo that makes my mouth water.....

COMPLETELY stolen by @mindthecompany (Jen) But this seriously makes me salivate! That girl is a baker after my own heart! I have a supreme love for lemon AND angel food cake!

A picture that tells a story....

At our first home together we had 5 different types of apples and through the years of living in that house we grew our family to 5. I always felt that it was symbolic how the blossoms opened in the spring, fell off and then grew into those well rounded fruits, kind of like children.We could smell apple blossoms all through the house on a breezy spring day and we would pick (sometimes shovel in the fall) the apples and make pies. Although we only have 2 apple trees on our current property, that smell will always remind me of the first home we started our family.

A photo that…I am most proud of (aka my worthy of National Geographic shot)

If you've ever been to Niagara Falls (as most have) watching the falls...American or Canadian side is absolutely amazing to watch. It truly is one of the 7 Wonders of the World. I took this shot with my crappy Blackberry (the one with the trackball still) and this is what came out! I was pretty impressed!

So as to follow the rules I am nominating the same group of women ( and a few more because they rock anyways) who so fabulously shared an evening with me and whose inspiration has given me wings~ Thank you so much ladies ~@~

Liz McLennan (Challenger)
Jenn Sprung
Sara Hamil
Jennifer May-Anderson
Mandie Henderson
Juliet deWal (because she is a beautiful writer) 
Jonathan Sprung (who made said night all possible) 

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

     Well here I am. My premiere blog post. First off,  Thank You to whomever is reading this. I have been wanting to start writing for quite some time, but didn't get the gumption until now.Especially, when I find my life is moving in so many directions that I thought maybe to clear my head I should jot it all down, albeit digitally, so that maybe I can make sense of it all. I realize that was probably completely a run-on sentence and my former English teachers would be tapping their feet and "tsk-ing" me, but I have never professed to being a literary genius so you'll have to excuse my grammar, run-on sentences (like this one again) and punctuation! 

     So onto the body of this post. I guess I'll introduce myself a little. I'm a 36 year old mother of 3 extremely unique, beautiful, yes dramatic, and spirited girls. Hayley who is almost 14, is one of thee strongest people I know. She is resilient, patient, absolutely stunning and most compassionate and I know I lean on her far too much sometimes. Laryssa, 9, is thought provoking, an old soul, reserved at times and will most likely make the best lawyer ever! Autumn, 6, is whimsical, the most dramatic of my drama queens, sings like a lark and will one day win a Best Actress Oscar!

     I grew up in a small town (I know totally cliche, however very true) of Gananoque, population 5,000. Like my youngest daughter most of my youth was spent on a stage, singing in plays at school,church choirs, community theatre and at one time The Grand Theatre. Since before I can remember all I wanted to do was sing/act when "I grew up". Instead, I became a hairdresser by trade. I married in 2004 to Wayne, who is everything I want in a man, a strong soul, good provider, friend, makes me laugh and a good Dad. We moved here to Belleville just under two years ago for a job and haven't looked back since! This is an incredible city, with so much to do for children and it's very easy to meet new people.

     Ok well I hate really talking chronologically about myself so that's the short and sweet of it. The real purpose to this blog is to make sense of the swirls around my head that are constant! Like, how do I deal with the girls problems at school, help with homework, create nutritious meals so they grow up properly,teach them to be strong and independent women who will fight for what they want in life, be a good wife, finally make time for myself and quite frankly sometimes just to vent! You know the daily struggles of any woman in their 30's with children, husband, work and home life! I'm also still trying to figure out what I wanna be when "I Grow Up".....

     In closing to my premiere post, I guess I just need a place where I can figure it all out and maybe, just maybe get a little perspective on my life choices, voices in my head and the "swirls"...

Again, thanks for whoever is brave enough to read my trivial words....Until next time :)